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REPLYING TO AN INVITATION TO A SCIENTISTS' BALL
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend. But he was so dowdy. When he tried to be the announcer, everyone called him an emcee square.
Volta was electrified.
Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.
Archimedes got in through some leverage. At least he didn't eat much. He got full on a crumb.
Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research. Ohm resisted the idea at first. But they got rowdy, and they were charged with battery.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Wilbur Wright said he'd take a flier on it.
Dr Jekyll declined-- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.
Morse replied: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now - must dash."
Heisenberg was uncertain if he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol.
Audobon said he'd have to wing it.
Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule.
Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.
Descartes said he'd think about it.
Newton was moved to attend.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
Nobel got a big bang out of it.
Freud could barely repress his excitement.
Galileo thought people were much too inquisitive about the whole thing.
Franklin said it beat flying a kite in a thunderstorm.
Armstrong was regenerated by the certainty he would get a better reception than at previous events.
Hewlett was oscillating in his feelings.
Cantor wasn't able to count all the invitations he'd received.
Godel said he couldn't prove it but he'd be there.
Hubble wanted to bring the idea into better focus.
Sagan enthused that out of the billions and billions of invitations he'd received, he would pick just this one.
Birdseye was frozen in indecision.
Bardeen, Schockley and Brattain thought the event might be semi-conducive to a good time.
Bell put the invitation on hold but promised to get back to it as soon as possible.
Watson had to determine precisely what jeans he would wear.
Fermat said his last invitation was truly wonderful but that he couldn't fit it into the margins of his appointment book.
Darwin declined, saying he always seemed to make a monkey out of himself on such occasions.
Galileo said he'd love to roll on down, but reminded everyone that the Pope had him under house arrest.
Gamow got a big bang out of the whole idea.
Nobel thought the party-idea was dynamite!
Niels Bohr sent thanks for the complementary invitation.
Hans Bethe said the whole idea was stellar.
Richard Feynman studied the diagram and said the only way he could make it is by going backward in time.
Steven Jay Gould and Niles Eldridge said they'd arrive by leaps and bounds.
William Harvey said he would circulate the bloody idea.
Avogadro said he would like to bring a number of friends.
Carnot cycled to the banquet.
Coulomb got a big charge out of the invitation.
Fourier said he had received a series of invitations.
Jung said this occasion would be archetypical.
Klein could hardly bottle up his enthusiasm.
L'Hospital said that, as a rule, he didn't go to banquets.
Laplace expected it to be a transforming experience.
Mesmer was hypnotized by the prospect.
Occam asked whether he would have to shave.
Pasteur said this was just the chance for which his mind was prepared.
Pythagoras said the guests were all too square for him.
Roentgen saw through the whole scheme.
Shannon promised to communicate his decision via the proper channels.
Turing said that after this party he would have to call a halt.
Van Allen said he would wear his new belt for the occasion.
Wien said he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.
Newton gravitated towards such occasions.
Einstein made light of it, thinking it all relative.
Milliken replied: "Oil drop by some time."
Halley declined because he had another comet-ment.
Kelvin couldn't make it because of a cold.
Gauss normally didn't go to such functions.
Naturally, Darwin said, he would select that engagement.
Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
Newton planned to drop in.
Watson and Crick thought it would be a nice chance to unwind.
Celsius gave it the cold shoulder.
Bessemer wanted to sit on the hearth.
Bacon thought he'd see how things turned out.
Fleming looked forward to an evening of culture.
Napier made no bones about declining.
Moebius wanted to know if there would be strip poker.
Bernoulli said he would probably make it.
Jenner declared a pox on anyone who spoke ill of the hosts.
Pauling said, "Orange you kind to have invited me!"
Von Braun shot out of the house like a rocket to get there on time.
Roentgen shielded himself from a giving direct answer, but looked deeply into the matter.
Harvey said he'd love to come and circulate among the guests.
da Vinci just smiled mysteriously.
Marconi heard about it on the radio.
Morse wired his reply.
Land volunteered to take photos of the gathering.
Bohr said he hoped he would be interesting, as he usually wasn't.
Freud wanted to bring his mother along with him.
Planck said it would be a quantum leap from what he had been doing to attending a party.
Einthoven said he'd play his triangle for musical accompaniment.
Linnaeus said that his whereabouts were classified information and he could not reply.
Cousteau dived into the hors d'oeuvres right away.
Tesla said the thought of a party really lighted up his outlook.
Krafft-Ebbing said he'd bring some slides to show.
Krebs said he'd cycle over.
Galvani had an unexpected reaction to the invitation.
Foucault said he'd have to consult his pendulum for the answer.
Faraday said the idea of the party completely transformed his outlook on life.
Geiger said he could be counted on to attend.
Fermi declined because of a splitting headache.
Binet said it sounded like an intelligent way to spend an evening.
Salk sent his regrets due to a crippling work schedule.
Hubble said he'd have to look into it before he could give an answer.
Daguerre said he would help Eastman take photos, but they would have to be the type he was familiar with himself.
Doppler said he would attend as soon as he figured out if he was coming or going.
Kepler said he would come and bring Mars bars for all to enjoy.
Crick said he was genetically incapable of having a good time at a party.
Pascal said that the party filled the vacuum in his life that weekend.
Kelvin said he absolutely would be there.
Tesla said he would be there as soon as he had coiled his hair into an attractive style.
Rutherford was up and atom.
Euclid hopped a plane.
Coulomb thought he'd get a charge out of it.
Galileo said he'd look into it.
Kamerlingh-Onnes thought this was cool.
But Joule said it would be hot!
Alder had some Diels to attend.
Mendelejews wife had her period.
Pythagoras declined - he was a bit of a square.
Descartes wondered if he had enough co-ordination.
Euclid primed himself for action .
Feynman asked if he could bring his bongos.
Edision lit up at the thought.
Joule had too much work on.
Hilbert decided to close his hotel for the night.
Schrodinger couldn't come - his cat had locked him in a box.
Brunel said it would bridge a gap in his schedule.
Babbage never got round to replying.
Turing said he'd stop all other projects.
Euler said that x=((a+b)n)/n, hence he would be there.
Nobel was asked to give prizes.
Hooke said he'd spring into action
..... But at the last minute they changed the date, and poor Alexander G. Bell forgot to phone first
Hamilton said he had a number of parties that night, but he would try to work it in to the circuit.
Euler said he could too, but only if we have two driveways.
Abel wanted to know if the party could come to him.
Pavlov simply drooled at the thought of going.
Konrad Lorenz thought the invitation insisting he should be there too aggressive.
Jean Piaget thought the whole thing too immature.
Otto Kernberg said he might show up provided the rest of the guests keep within their boundaries.
Freud wanted to know if they would be serving Coke.
Demming thought the whole affair was inefficient.
Kolmogorov called Fomin and asked "Is this for real?"
Margaret Mead asked Ruth Benedict if she could bring her lamb's hook. Benedict said no, it might spoil the pattern on the rug.
Malinowski was not invited for fear that he would ask the guests about their mating habits.
Leibnitz disagreed with the notation on the invitation and sat down to write a paper about it.
Jean Paul Sartre said he would transcend the experience.
Claude Levi-Strauss thought the whole idea was a bitter-sweet affair.
Wilder Penfield wondered if the guests would be cerebral enough.
Frazer Mustard heard this and commented "Some childhood he must have had!"
Benjamin Spock overheard this and said "Childhood - I discovered that as an intern?"
Doctor X, standing in a corner said "Yeah, for sure."
Lavoisier thought it would be a gas.